I didn’t realize what was happening when they handed me my first precious little baby boy. And I still didn’t realize it when they handed me my second little son, but wen the third little boy was lying in my arms, I knew I was well on my way to a unique place. Mothering multiple sons is a special calling, and without even realizing it, it was a calling that God had placed on my life. In just a span of thirty-four months, I went from being just a young wife to wife and a mother of three sons…surrounded by “male-ness”. Not a word, you say…Oh believe me, “male-ness” IS a word-it’s very well understood by the other ladies in this special club I belong to. What a shift from the days of growing up an only child. One little girl…and homeschooled at that! I grew up loving quiet things, pretty things, and cats…so why on earth would I be chosen to raise a pack of loud, testosterone filled, crazy BOYS? Well, I actually believe my whole life was a preparation for this journey. I longed for siblings, but not just any siblings-I longed for brothers-brothers that I would never have. When we began to have little boys, fourteen years ago, I was thrilled as each little boy was born! But it was still shocking. Here are some of the tid-bits I have learned on this journey-much of it is from wise, experienced women who have paved the way for grown up girly-girls like me, as well as experts along the way like Dr. Dobson.
1. It’s natural for boys to be competitive.
Everything is a race, a competition, a game. In mothering these men-in-training, we will be ahead of this game, if we work with this natural bend and not against it. This is where fighting comes in, which must, of course, be managed. Some boy competitions need adult intervention, and some just need adult supervision. It’s never alright for a brother to be insulted or bullied, and of-course, those are the moments for intervention. Good competition is SO healthy for these boys, and can really be used as a great motivational tool! Many times I have been able to use their competitive side to motivate my sons to strive for greatness.
2. Most boys are born with a healthy amount of natural aggression.
Oh boy, this is where the moms of girls are gasping, and perhaps even moms of just one little boy…but this is actually true & healthy…so let me explain…
All boys will eventually grow into men. Men will have responsibilities and duties that are “Provider and Protector” based. I am so thankful for my godly husband. He would lay down his life for this family. He rises before the sun is up, and works, most days until it has set again. That does not just develope one day- it is a life-time in the making. Little boys are born with a very un-fettered sense of adventure. The pushing, the shouting, the fighting, the building, the competing, the hunting…it’s all part of the strong male nature that will someday be necessary for the strength and leadership that is required of an adult male. I often say, “Mothering boys is not for wimps!”, and this is SO true! There is a fine-line to walk here. One must realize that this is in their nature, but it must be TRAINED! Oh the humiliation I felt when my three year old son intentionally pee-peed on the bathroom wall of a local mega-church! He may have been only three, but we took him home and punished him. In-fact, we took it so seriously, that we did not move forward, until we knew that he understood how unacceptable this was. He did not respond well, and most of the next day he spent in various methods of punishment, but by 5:00pm on that Monday night, we had reached a break-through. He got it, and we moved forward. Harsh? No. Appropriate. Boys are born with a natural aggression, but they have no idea how to use this appropriately. They must not be shamed in their maleness, but disciplined and lovingly shaped, so that they will use this strength as a positive and not run over those around them and use it as a negative.
3.Boys aren’t pretty..This is not for wimps, folks!
This statement may not be true if you have only one boy, but mothers of multiple boys understand this in a unique way. Because, let’s be honest, it’s like the sleepover that never ends! The intense male energy of several boys…together…all of the time, is something that not everyone could endure. If you have been chosen for this journey, there is a reason! God thinks you can do it! And there will be some crazy moments that you just need to chill out and laugh…
I know someone just gasped..well, then this post just isn’t for you. But it absolutely cracked me up! I was all dressed up for church yesterday, and I was backing the car out of the garage, when I spotted this. A cup…in a cup holder! I know you “boy mammas” just laughed your heads off.
But seriously, you just can’t sweat the small stuff. Discipline when discipline is needed. Comfort when comfort is needed. Train when training is needed. And LOVE all of the time!
Please don’t leave without leaving me a note!